Sunday, May 4, 2008

Why You Should Wait to Date -- Part 2

Many months ago, I wrote a post about the advisability of waiting until after the divorce is final to start dating. That post is still frequently being read because it is a perennial issue. Lately, another good reason has come up reinforcing the point that you should wait to date until you are divorced. Two words: public humiliation.

In a recent series of events, a politician running for public office in South Carolina apparently got involved with a woman who was going through a divorce. Ben Stevens, in his South Carolina Family Law Blog, wrote about a Spartanburg City Council candidate who has an angry man driving around town with a big sign on his pickup truck naming names and accusing the candidate of adultery. The candidate denies the claim, but he has to be very embarrassed and probably will be hurt when the votes are totaled. If the angry man's wife had waited until she was divorced before she started dating, that trouble might have been completely avoided.

Although dating was not the triggering event, the recent You Tube rant by an angry New York wife shows another possible venue for embarrassing a wandering spouse. She will surely not be the last spouse to utilize the internet for revenge.

In the Information Age, there are more and more ways to hurt and embarrass someone, so people going through a divorce should be very careful with their behavior. As much as people hate to hear this, it is still advisable not to date until the divorce is final. There can be legal consequences that may affect the outcome of the case,but the results of emotional reactions can be even worse.


Anonymous said...

If my husband has filed for divorce and I do not want the divorce and I am trying to get a hold of him and he has stopped all communication and I cannot get a hold of him for his older children from a previous marriage have made sure I cannot get a message to him should I just be able to go to dinner with my ex I dated 15 yrs ago? I don't know how to reach him to tell him I want to work on our marriage and stay married. What to do??

Anonymous said...

I am going thru a divorce but would like my husband back. We both did hurtful things to each other and I was seen with an ex as a friend and not dating but my husband took that completely wrong. Do you think that could ever be repaired since he filed for divorce but will not commit to a mediation date to finish the divorce. We have no children but have been married for 13 years. Do you have any suggestions if he is deciding to stay in the marriage and just needing time to get over the stupid mistake I did?