How Fast Can We Finish a Divorce?

Some people come to see me and they are in a big hurry to be divorced. Sometimes, both spouses are at that point. More often, it's just one spouse and that can lead to problems (= slower divorce).

Here's the starting point.

There's a 60-day waiting period required by the Texas Family Code.  It begins the day after the Petition for Divorce is filed. That's day one.

You count the next 60 days, including weekends and holidays.

You cannot get divorced until at least the 61st day after the filing.

Another disappointment for some people: 

The divorce is not automatically granted on the 61st day.

To get the divorce granted, you normally must appear in Court with your attorney and the proper paperwork.  Your attorney will tell what he or she needs from you and will prepare the documents needed.

If you are trying to get your own divorce without an attorney, you can do it, but it will take longer. Please contact the Court Clerk for instructions on setting a Court date.

All of the above is about how fast you can be divorced. In a normal case, it will take longer than 61 days. Please talk to your attorney to find out if you can either speed up or slow down your divorce.

Bonus Tip:  If you are in a hurry to be divorced, please tell your attorney when you first talk to him or her. Then you can talk about a realistic timetable.

Should You Wait to Start the Divorce?

People often struggle with the decision whether to file for divorce.  It's hard to give up on a marriage.  Divorce impacts the kids in many ways.  There are financial concerns and sometimes safety concerns. There are many things to consider when deciding to divorce.

Once a decision is made to get a divorce, the next decision to make is when to start the process.  Again, there are many factors to consider on the timing.

Why hold off on starting a divorce?  Here are some reasons:

• A delay gives you more time to reconsider your decision.  You can make sure it is the right decision for you.  Many people go back and forth changing their mind about whether to go forward.  A slower decision can help you be comfortable with you choice.
• Your spouse might become more accepting.  There can be an issue if you surprise your spouse by announcing your intention to divorce. Quite often a surprised spouse goes into denial and will promise and do many things to try to talk you out of divorcing.  If you discuss your thoughts early with your spouse, it may give him or her the opportunity to process the idea of divorce and maybe come to accept it.
• Waiting can give you time to prepare.  You may need to save some money. You may want to gather up things like jewelry, photos, personal papers, financial documents, collections or other things that may be significant to you.
• Using the time for planning is smart.  For such a major change in your life, you need to think through what you want to do and how you will do it.  
• It may help to let things cool off.  You may have decided to divorce because of some major arguments.  Even if there is now a good reason to divorce, the process will be a little easier if both parties have cooled off before they are faced with divorce.
• You may want to wait for a family event before filing.  Events such as graduation, wedding, illness, funeral or holidays could be a lot easier to deal with if you haven't just started a divorce.
• Delay might give you or your spouse time to get a job.  When both parties are meaningfully employed, it makes a divorce go a lot easier.

Can there be some problems with a delay in filing?  Of course.

• Your spouse also has time to prepare.
• Your spouse can work on convincing you to not file for divorce.
• You might end up postponing the divorce to avoid facing it.
•  Your spouse might file first and try to take advantage of you. 

You have to decide what's best for you.  There's not huge advantage in being the first to file.  If you and your spouse are talking, you may find out his/her plans in time to go ahead and file, if it is important to you. If you are talking, maybe the divorce will work out a little better. 

My suggestion:  meet with an attorney early on. Find out about the process options.  You and your attorney can decide what's best for you regarding timing.  You should be well informed and be able to tap into your attorney's experience in similar cases to help your decision. Don't over-think it and don't worry.  You can figure out your course of action by planning ahead.  Good luck!

Why is it Taking so Long?

There's more to a divorce than the start and finish.

In many divorces, one party is much readier to finish the process than the spouse is.  Usually, that party has been thinking about and planning for the divorce quietly for a long time. The ready party often becomes very anxious to get through the process and start a new single life.

Unfortunately for that person, the spouse can really slow down the process by requesting counseling, doing extensive discovery, having multiple hearings and by refusing to agree on things.  The party in a hurry gets frustrated by how slow the process moves and that's understandable, but basically unavoidable.

Aside from the actions a spouse may take to intentionally slow down the process, there are a number of requirements or actions that typically put the brakes on any attempt to speed through a divorce. Here are some to keep in mind.

1.  Time must pass.  There is a 60-day waiting period in Texas and some sort of waiting period in most states. The petition for divorce must be on file with the court for at least two months before a divorce can be granted.  In addition, if you want to finish right after the 60 days is up, you need to have an agreement with your spouse.  That requires a spouse who is emotionally and financially ready to finalize the divorce, and that doesn't always happen right away.

2. Temporary arrangements are set up.  In most cases, temporary orders are set up by agreement or by going to court.  Experienced attorneys can pretty well figure out what you can get in a given court -- most judges have some standard rules and provisions.  One way or another, temporary orders usually are established for the benefit and protection of both parties.

3. Transitions are planned.  This may take place with the temporary orders, but there are a number of other transitional issues to cover.  The parties need to understand that their lives are changing and one or both will need financial help and time to set up separate households, possibly make career changes and deal with how to share their children.  One may have to go back to school.  Sometimes it's hard to find a job. Courts usually try to provide some help to the disadvantaged party on a temporary basis.

4. Information must be gathered.  This can be done formally through written discovery and depositions, or informally by requesting and receiving an documents that either party wants to see.  It's really helpful to prepare a spreadsheet with the assets and liabilities.  It's also pretty standard to get an Inventory and Appraisement from each party.  It's a formal, sworn statement listing the assets and liabilities in great detail.  An Inventory gets both parties to think carefully about what they have and may reduce the temptation to hide assets.

5.  Creating a strategy.  You need to come up with a strategy for a satisfactory conclusion.  Figure out what you want to end up with and you should try to imagine what your spouse will likely want.  Your strategy should allow both your and your spouse's needs to be met, if you want to settle. That sometimes takes a lot of creativity and some time.

6. Planning to settle.  Almost every divorce settles, so you need to figure out how and when that can happen. Sometimes, settlements come from informal negotiations over time.  That's usually when both parties are fairly rational and both are motivated to get the divorce over with. In more difficult cases, mediation is used and that is a very successful process.  If agreement can't be reached informally or at mediation, then the case is set for court.  Even then, many cases will settle at the courthouse, either just before trial or during trial.  Very few cases go all the way through trial. Of course, your case could be the rare one!

7.  Allow time for paperwork.  Unfortunately, just reaching an agreement is not enough.  After that necessary step, there's still a lot to be done.  A decree of divorce must be prepared and sometimes negotiated.  In some cases, we use an additional agreement incident to divorce to include provisions we don't want in the public record.When there's a retirement account to be divided, we prepare a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO).,  There are deeds, powers of attorney and various other documents to be prepared as well.  Many times it takes 3-4 weeks to get the paperwork drafted, negotiated and signed, and it can take longer if there are serious disagreements.

Every divorce is different.  You may have a friend or a friend of a friend who got a quick divorce in a couple of months, but don't assume that yours will go as smoothly.  That is a very rare exception. Talk to your lawyer at the outset about your hopes and expectations.  Your lawyer can help you get a fairly realistic idea of what your case might entail, but initial thoughts are subject to revision several times as you go through a divorce.  As things change, don't be surprised if you timeline changes.

Please try to be patient.

Are There Shortcuts to Divorces?

One of the biggest concerns of  people going through a divorce or other family law process is how long it takes to complete it.  Initially, it may just be one of the parties who is upset about the slow pace, but after a while, both parties often are very anxious to end it.  The parties often ask their attorneys to speed up the process, but that is difficult.  Your only avenue for quick action is to come to an agreement.  That involves the other side in the case, which means compromise.

If you find yourself looking for shortcuts in the divorce process, here are some things to keep in mind.

1.  Be clear with your attorney about what your objectives and priorities are. If you prefer speed over thoroughness or over cost considerations, tell your attorney.  If there are certain outcomes that are most important to you, such as getting primary custody or having an expanded visitation schedule or keeping the house, be sure to discuss those with your attorney.  To end the divorce quickly, your attorney needs to know what you absolutely need to end up with.

2.  Be prepared to pay more to your attorney in the near future.  If you want to speed up the process, that probably means that your attorney will get very busy and put in a lot more time on your case right away.  That means much more cost to you, so be prepared for that.  There is a trade off.  More work = higher attorney's fees.

3.  "Haste makes waste."  Benjamin Franklin's saying applies here.  You may miss something if you and your attorney are speeding through the process.  Attorneys will usually look through the information the get and try to figure out if anything is missing.  If you rush, you will probably not get a complete or accurate picture of the finances or other important facts.  That could cost you in the long run.

4.  Pushing hard to speed up the case could derail the process.  People need time to process issues and decisions dealing with family matters.  If you push too hard or push in the wrong way, your spouse may just stop.  It takes both sides together to move quickly through the legal system.  Your spouse could just freeze up if he or she feels too much pressure.  You have to think about the most effect way to motivate your spouse or ex.

5.  You may have to give up something you really want or expect.  It's normally not possible for you to force the other side to move quickly and to do things your way.  Quite often, you trade value for speed.  You have to decide if your spouse is demanding too much to come to a quick agreement.

Here are three points to remember if you think you want to try a shortcut so you can finish up your family law issue:

• Shortcuts aren't always short.  Sometimes they backfire.
• Shortcuts aren't always effective.  Your spouse or ex has a say in whether an agreement is reached.
• Shortcuts may turn into a bumpy road.  Getting to an agreement can be a very unpleasant process.

Waiting on the 60-Day Waiting Period

One of the most common misperceptions regarding divorce is the idea that a divorce is, or must be, completed when the 60-day waiting period is up. Under Texas law, the parties must wait for 60 days, beginning with the date they file for divorce, before they can be divorced. Even then, the divorce doesn't happen automatically.

There is actually much more to be done before the divorce can be finalized. That's not to say that the divorce won't be completed just after the 60 days is up. It only means that you can't just file for divorce, wait for the 60 days to pass and then be divorced without further action.

So, what needs to be done? Start by discussing the situation with your attorney. Make sure he/she knows you want the divorce over with as soon as possible. Here are some things that he or she will need your help on.

1. Your spouse must be notified "officially". You can serve papers on him/her or he/she can sign a Waiver and accept the papers. Most people won't sign a Waiver without having the opportunity to see and sign the final papers (decree). Serving papers is less friendly and more expensive. If you are trying to do a quick and friendly divorce, the Waiver is probably a better bet. If you can't find your spouse, talk to your attorney about your options.

2. You need to gather information and get it to your attorney. The attorney wants to make sure everything is properly covered by the final decree of divorce, so it is important that the attorney gets to review the details of your finances. In addition, the children, if there are any, must be provided for: allocation of the powers, rights and duties for raising the children; visitation; and child support. The attorney depends on you to furnish the information and also to state what terms and arrangements you would prefer.

3. If you want a quick divorce, you and your spouse generally need to agree on the details of how to divide things up and how to deal with the children. It's not enough to just turn over information to the attorney. Your attorney can suggest some terms, but you and your spouse need to agree to those or come up with variations that you both agree on. Usually, the more complex the issues, the longer it takes to resolve them. You can help speed up the process by reaching agreements with your spouse.

Divorces are not automatic in Texas. Attorneys can't just file papers and wait for the time to run. We need to get information and suggestions from clients. If you are anxious to get your divorce completed quickly, you need to help your attorney by providing information and details on how you would like things resolved. You can be divorced in just over 60 days, but plan on actively working with your attorney to accomplish that.

When is the Best Time to File?

The easy answer is the first day of each month, but that would be wrong. There's no automatic "best date" for any type of case. When trying to decide when to file your case, here are some things to consider:

1. What process are you using? If you use Collaborative Law, the timing is a much less significant issue. In a Collaborative case, the parties set their own schedule. In Texas, they can act without court supervision for up to two years. If the case is filed as a litigation case, then other time factors come into play.

2. Is there a significant ending deadline? If the case needs to be resolved by a certain date, then you can work backwards from that to figure out when you must file, but generally, you need to file as soon as possible. For a divorce case, don't forget the 60-day waiting period from the date of filing until the earliest possible date to have the divorce granted.

3. Has someone moved? For a divorce, to be able to file, one of the parties must have lived in Texas for at least 6 months and the county you file in for at least 90 days. If someone has moved to a different county or state, the residency requirements may also affect when you can or should file.

4. Are there statutes of limitations involved? For some types of law suits or issues, there may be a statute of limitations that would prohibit your filing something after a certain date. You should discuss any such issues with your attorney.

5. Are there post-final hearing deadlines? If you are wanting to file an appeal or a motion for new trial, for example, be sure you work with your attorney and promptly comply with all deadlines. There are various requirements for different steps to take after a final ruling has been made.

6. Are there fact-related deadlines? Is school about to start? Are certain bills due now or at a certain later date? Do you want the divorce final before the end of the year for tax purposes? Is there a deadline to accept or reject a promotion or job transfer? All can be compelling reasons to take action right away.

7. Are you prepared to file? Do you have the information, witnesses and fees you need to file now? Is there time to prepare? Make sure you work with your attorney to determine the best timing for filing any family law litigation.

There are obviously a number of questions that need to be considered in deciding when to file. You should have a thorough discussion of all the factors with your attorney. Make sure your attorney is aware of all your concerns and objectives.