7 Tips for Dealing with Debt

Even before the current prolonged economic downturn, many divorces ended up focusing on how to manage the community debt. Some married couples are fortunate and keep debt to a minimum, but a more common scenario is that the marital debt is a significant issue to be addressed either in court or in settlement.

If you are using the Collaborative Law process to resolve a divorce, you will probably work with a neutral divorce financial planner. In litigated divorces, we sometimes bring in a financial planner to work with one side in the case, and sometimes each party hires their own advisor. Working with an expert like that is invaluable in analyzing tax consequences and preparing financial strategies for negotiations or for court.

With or without a financial advisor, here are some suggestions to consider in dealing with debt issues in a divorce.

1. Be realistic. Have an outsider, like a certified divorce financial planner, review your situation and make suggestions. Don't over-commit or be over-optimistic. Your lifestyle will probably be lower post-divorce and it may take a while to get back on your feet. If you're in a hole, plan to take some time to work your way out. Don't try to do it overnight.

2. Go solo and end joint accounts, if possible. Don't pay off and close your individual credit accounts. Make payments, but keep them open. On the other hand, try to close out any joint accounts so that you will not be affected by your ex-spouse's future payment history, or lack thereof. You need to separate your finances, just like you do the other parts of your life.

3. Don't rely on your spouse. It may take you a while to transition to full separation and independence, but you should continuously work for that. Your spouse may have good intentions, but things like a job loss, health problems or a new relationship, among other things, can come along, and suddenly financial performance doesn't match their pre-divorce words. As soon as possible, you need to be independent. Get an expert, if necessary, to help you come up with your own plan.

4. Close out joint bank accounts. For a while, they might be a way for the spouses to show their trust and commitment to each other, but that changes over time. You both need to be independent. There are plenty of ways with electronic banking to make quick payments and transfers, so you don't need joint accounts. Having separate accounts also improves your security and eliminates any temptation to get financial revenge of the spouse.

5. Refinance you mortgage, if you qualify. You can save money, build separate credit and help your ex-spouse rest easier at night. It also gives you more financial privacy.

6. First, pay off the smaller credit cards in your name. You should also continue making payments on all your cards, but concentrate on the smaller ones and knock them off as soon as you can by making extra payments. Generally, it's usually better to keep the cards open after they are paid off.

7. As a last resort, you can consider filing for bankruptcy. For that decision, you should consult with a bankruptcy specialist. Most family law attorneys in North Texas don't handle bankruptcies. Just like you should hire a family law specialist for a divorce, you should look for a bankruptcy specialist to help you evaluate your circumstances. There are serious consequences to filing for bankruptcy, so consider carefully as a last resort.

Divorce can be devastating on finances, but it doesn't have to be. Careful planning, taking a conservative path and getting expert assistance will help you make the right decisions on debts and other financial issues.

For some additional ideas, see an excellent article called, "Know How to Get Debt Free after Divorce" by Amy Lewis in Ben Stevens' South Carolina Family Law Blog (always a good source) from August 8, 2011.

Fighting for Custody in a Paternity Case

Children are born out of wedlock under a variety of circumstances. Sometimes there's a long-term relationship, sometimes a one-night stand. Sometimes the father is involved all the way and sometimes the father isn't informed until months or years after the child's birth. Some fathers choose not to be involved and try to avoid responsibility. Other fathers try to be as involved as the mother will permit. Some unmarried parents work very well together, some don't get along at all, and others can set up a plan and follow it, even when the parents don't really like each other.

Obviously, there are many different circumstances when a child is brought into the world with parents who aren't married. One factor that almost always appears is a court order to officially establish who the father is and then set child support and terms of access to the child. It will also allocate the rights of parents between the two parents. All together, that amounts to a custody determination.

In most cases where a child is born out of wedlock, the child ends up with the mom who has most of the significant parental rights and has the child the majority of the time. The father usually is ordered to pay child support and has visitation rights. In the future, child support and visitation often become repetitive sources of conflict between the parents.

In a few cases, the father of the baby decides to try to win custody of the child. For the fathers who are considering such actions, here are some issues to consider.

1. Do you really want the responsibility that goes with having primary custody? Or do you just want a lot of time with the child? Do you want decision-making powers, or want to share them, or does that matter to you? What are your underlying goals or needs? These are questions you should answer and discuss with your attorney.

2. Are you prepared to take primary care of a child? Do you have the knowledge and experience to be able to deal with your child's needs in an age-appropriate manner? You can certainly learn, but there are a lot of things you will need to do that you may not intuitively know.

3. How do you compare to the other parent on parenting issues? Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. A judge will be evaluating both parents to determine who has the best skills, experience and attitude for taking care of a child. If possible, you should be able to demonstrate your competence as a parent.

4. If you haven't been the primary caregiver, why should the court switch to you? That's really a key question. Even if this may be the first official custody determination for your child, there is a natural tendency to view it as an issue of whether custody should be modified or changed, if one parent has had significant time where she has been the primary or only parent involved. You need to have some powerful reasons why the court should upset the living arrangements. It's not always best to leave a child where he/she has been, but it is common for a judge to start with a preference to not change a stable arrangement.

5. Ultimately, what is in the child's best interest? That is, absolutely, the bottom-line issue. You need to be able to articulate what the child's best interest is and why you are in the best position to help meet your child's actual needs.

If you are considering fighting for custody for a child born out of wedlock, you should think carefully before you start the fight. Try to figure out what your real underlying interests are. Don't get stuck just thinking about possible solutions. What are your strengths and weaknesses? Are you prepared for a tough, expensive and emotional fight? Think and analyze before you act. Get counsel from wise family members and friends, but lean heavily on the advice of an experienced family law attorney who has seen and been involved in such cases in the past.

Remember to look before you leap!

Choosing a Compatible Attorney

Family law litigation is one of the most serious and important activities you can participate in. A few people try to handle such matters without an attorney, but that is generally ill advised. The issues are rarely simple and common sense often isn't enough to navigate through the court system.

If you are facing divorce or other family law litigation, you have to decide either to hire an attorney to assist you or to take a chance on handling the matter yourself. People who haven't worked with lawyers before often struggle in finding the right attorney for their situation. If you are in that situation, here are some tips for choosing the right attorney.

1. Have your objectives in mind. You need to look at the big picture first. In broad terms, what are your needs or concerns? For example, do you want...

• A fair outcome: property division, custody, visitation or child support terms that are reasonably equal or proportionate.
• To punish your spouse. You may want retribution if your spouse cheated on you, which could happen in various ways.
• An easy divorce. You may not want to fight over things.
• A cheap divorce. You might need to keep the cost as low as possible.
• A money-is-no-object divorce. For the record, from my point of view, that is virtually always a mistake. People almost always come to their senses and put the brakes on the spending.
• To slow down. You may not be emotionally ready for divorce and you may want to slow down the process and draw out the procedures.
• Get it over quickly. You may be ready to finish the divorce even before it's filed. (FYI -- you can't do that.)
• Need help starting over. You may have accepted the idea of getting a divorce, but you may not be fully prepared for your new life. Maybe you need time, training, income, new job, a place to live, etc. Starting a new life is not easy.
• A Collaborative divorce. You may want to work with a Collaborative Law team to have a civilized, private divorce where you find creative solutions to your issues. You would need a trained Collaborative lawyer for this.
  

2. Get recommendations and research on line. Every attorney should have a web site by now. Look for ratings that are available from various source. Check for useful information on the web site about the issues that concern you. Look at their qualifications. Are they Board Certified? How much experience do they have? If the attorney has written anything that is published on line, read it to get a feel for the attorney. Do you like what you read?

3. Meet with one or more attorneys. Have a clear idea of what outcome you are looking for. Write down questions in advance and take them with you. Observe whether the attorney listens to you or just talks about himself or herself. Make sure there's good chemistry. Do you feel comfortable with the attorney? Make sure the attorney fees are compatible with your budget as well.

Conclusions:

• There are many good attorneys available with different pricing and different approaches. You won't hurt the attorney's feelings if you choose someone else. You have the right to choose whomever you want. You don't have to choose the first one you see or hear about. Shop around. It's OK to interview several and then decide.
• Make sure the attorney's approach is consistent with what you want. You probably shouldn't hire an attorney who listens a little and then starts telling you what you want.
• Make sure the chemistry feels right. The intangible factors can make a big difference. If something doesn't feel right, go with that feeling. Likewise, if you feel very comfortable with an attorney, that's a good reason to hire that one.
  

Finding an attorney who is compatible with you is a key element in obtaining the best possible outcome for you in family law litigation.

Starting Over Later in Life

A common situation for some people, especially Baby Boomers, going through a Collaborative or litigated divorce is the need for one spouse to re-join the workforce. Often, although not always, the wife is suddenly facing the need to earn a living after years of being a stay-at-home mom and raising children. Sometimes she has work experience from years ago, but that is often outdated or she may have lost interest or connection with that career. As a result, the out-of-the-workforce spouse must face the daunting task of reinventing herself in the workplace so she can be self-supporting. Unfortunately, there seems to be little guidance readily available to help people in that situation, and "the law" doesn't provide much help, other than alimony, which is usually pretty limited.

So, what should someone do facing that challenge? There are so many unknowns involved, it would be helpful to break up your efforts into small steps. And don't just jump to the end. Work through the process so you know where you are going and know it's the right direction. Here are some ideas:

How to Start a New Career

1. Know yourself. Make an inventory of yourself. Analyze your skills, experience, interests, strengths and weaknesses, tolerance for risk, willingness to be self employed or to work for someone else, training, hobbies, income requirements, comfort with technology and the amount of time available for working. Sometimes, it even helps to ask close friends or relatives what they think might be appropriate for you. They may have some very perceptive observations that would be helpful. You could also see a counselor who can help you identify skills and interests.

2. Research possibilities. Look into various industries and jobs that might fit with your skills, experience or interest. Figure out where some appropriate jobs might be located and what the requirements would be for you to do that work. Will you need training or certification or other qualifications? Is a college degree required? You need to create a target -- the type of job, location, pay, hours, etc. -- so you will know what you are looking for. It will also help you figure out where to look for your job. A counselor may also be able to point you to some resources.

3. Improve yourself. There will always be some things that you can or should do to improve yourself to be more marketable and more productive at work. Here are some ideas:

Research first. Find out what you need to learn and then arrange to get the training. Don't wait until you apply for the job. Get the training now so you will be more marketable.

Be an Intern. That's usually an unpaid position, but the real payoff is in knowledge and experience which might make the difference in getting a job. Find positions in your chosen industry and volunteer to start out for free to get some experience. Sometimes those positions turn into job offers. Even if they don't, you may get a reference or connections or learn how to find a job in the industry.

Get counseling. Work with a counselor or a life coach to make sure you are on the right path and to shore up an deficiencies you may have. You might need help setting priorities or goals, or you may need help getting organized. Sometimes, it just helps to be accountable to someone else who can gently nudge you when you need it.

Get a mentor. Find someone in the industry or someone more experienced who you can contact whenever you need some guidance. It really helps to have an insider on your side.

Volunteer. If you have some free time, volunteer to help an organization that you believe in. You will feel better and it is one more thing to put on your resume. It's much better than just sitting around, and you might make some connections that may lead to a job.

4. Promote yourself. There are many things you can do to promote yourself.
You will need a resume. It should be appropriate to the industry you are interested in. Get some guidance from a counselor, coach or mentor. Research what the prospective employer is used to. Formats and content may vary widely between industries. You want to stand out, but in a good way.

Network everywhere. Talk to everyone about your quest. Join groups. There may be a study group or some other organization of people looking for jobs in your area. Create a group, if necessary. Talking with family and friends and others may lead to the connection you need.

Use social media, if you are comfortable with it. If you don't know much about it, do some research online and learn how things work. (You can always talk to your kids or nephews or nieces.) Sign up for LinkedIn which has become a significant resource for finding jobs or finding employees. You can have a resume on it for free. It's a great way to connect with friends and make new friends. Twitter can also be a way to watch for job openings and to promote yourself. Facebook, if used carefully, can be a good way to reconnect with old friends -- it's networking online. Google + is new, but it will compete with Facebook and will probably also be a good tool for networking. If you have some knowledge about your desired field, you could blog about it and that might be very helpful in raising your visibility.

5. Get your head on straight. Getting started on such a life-changing effort is daunting. If you don't break it down into manageable steps and put deadlines on yourself, it may be very easy to not follow through and to get frustrated with a lack of progress. That is especially the case if you glance over your shoulder and look at the image of the life your spouse is living with his or her established position in contrast to how you are struggling. Instead of looking backward, look forward and picture your goal of a meaningful, productive and rewarding job. Be realistic and remember that you won't get it overnight and it will take some time to build a career. Don't try to do it all alone. Work with someone else for accountability and reassurance.
You may have noticed that this article doesn't provide a quick solution to finding a job when you are starting over later in life. Instead, I have provided a series of steps that can greatly improve your chances of finding the job you want and need. Don't take shortcuts. Get help from others and be flexible. Good luck!

10 Tips for Enhancing Your Relationship with Your Attorney

Hiring an attorney and joining in litigation (or Collaboration) is a serious matter. I, and others, have written about how to choose an attorney to hire. After you have crossed that threshold, both you and your attorney should work to maintain a good working relationship.

In the interest of better serving clients, here is a list of 10 tips for keeping and improving your relationship with your legal representative.

1. Listen to your attorney. Pretty much, you should tune out your family and friends who are offering their best legal advice for you. Your attorney is better qualified and more experienced.

2. Follow the attorney's advice. Lawyers don't enjoy trying to help someone who won't follow their advice.

3. If you disagree with your attorney, speak up. If you think the attorney is wrong, speak up and have a discussion. If you think the attorney is wrong too often, change attorneys.

4. Pay your bills on time. You wouldn't work for free. Your attorney doesn't like to work for free. Attorneys have overhead and living expenses, just like you and other business people.

5. Follow the court's order. You really make your life and your attorney's life more difficult if you ignore or violate court orders. If you don't like the order, talk to your attorney.

6. Don't expect your attorney to be a therapist. In Tarrant County, we actually have one very good attorney who is also a very good therapist, but that is a unique situation. You can't expect your attorney to solve your emotional issues, but the attorney can refer you to someone for therapy, as needed.

7. Be on time and get stuff done on time. Time limits are often very important in litigation. There can be major problems if you miss deadlines. Do your part to make sure things are done on time.

8. Have a clear picture of what you want. Of course, that's easy for me to say. In reality, you probably need to talk with your attorney to formulate what your goals and needs are, but your attorney needs to know what you are aiming for.

9. Don't listen to family and friends. Please. They mean well, but they don't know all the facts of your case, and the experience they draw on is different from your situation.

10. Remember -- every divorce is different. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. You need to work closely with your attorney to plan and carry out your course of action. Don't assume that what happened in a friend's divorce will work in yours!

If you follow these suggestions, you should have a good relationship with your attorney. Good luck.

Zen, Running and Divorce -- Life Lessons

There is an interesting blog, unrelated to divorce or family law, that I like to read that's always full of thought-provoking posts. Yesterday's post in the Zen Habits blog, "Ten Life Lessons from a Reluctant Runner" was about life lessons related to running, but I immediately applied the lessons to divorce situations. I liked the article initially because I am a runner (disclaimer: I admit I'm not fast), but I thought the lessons from running could easily translate into ideas to help ease the stress of dealing with divorce and other family law issues.

I invite you to read the original post. Even if you're not a runner, you can probably appreciate her view of life. For this post, I am taking her lessons and applying them in another context. See if this makes sense to you.

"1. Sometimes things that suck are also awesome." Ever hear the phrase, "behind every cloud, there's a silver lining"? It's often hard to see the silver lining when you go through a divorce or other family law conflict, but change often leads to improvement, even though it's painful at the time. Being forced to confront your financial situation may help you plan better for the future and even change course to look for better opportunities.

"2. It's all mental." I don't know that I would agree that a divorce is 100% mental, but how you approach a situation mentally sure does have a major impact on whether it is upsetting to you or doesn't bother you. People really can choose how they will react to difficult situations. Focusing on the negative and thinking about how terrible you have it will not be helpful. It is much better to be looking forward.

"3. There's a discernible difference between pain and discomfort." Some things are major pains and require a re-analysis and new direction. Most things are more at the discomfort level which you can quickly overcome, if you allow and encourage yourself to do so.

"4. Equipment matters -- find what works for you." This is not a direct comparison, but you need to have a lawyer to help you through the legal process and you should make sure the lawyer has the knowledge and experience needed and that there is good chemistry between you and the lawyer. If you try one attorney and it doesn't seem to work out, go ahead and make a change.

"5. Take joy in small accomplishments." All issues are not alike. Keep in mind that not everything is life or death in divorce. Making small progress toward the outcomes you want should be considered a good thing. You rarely make giant-sized progress toward your goals. You should feel good for every small step that goes your way (and don't obsess about the things that don't work out!).

"6. Inconsistency is OK." Don't expect things to go smoothly or to flow all in the same direction. If judges are deciding issues, there can be inconsistent result on different issues for a variety of reasons. Don't worry about it.

"7. It feels good to pick up your pace at the finish." Most people are anxious to finalize their divorce once they get near the finish. Don't slow it down by bringing up last-minute, annoying issues that simply prolong the fighting. Keep your major objectives in mind and don't get caught up with minor battles.

"8. But, slow down at the beginning, already." Sometimes, you don't have a choice about how fast you have to act at the beginning, but remember that a divorce takes time. Don't be impatient to finish up something too quickly that will affect you the rest of your life financially and in terms of family relationships.

"9. Play is critical. Always." Don't take everything too seriously. Stop and try to relax and not think about the divorce all day long. Get involved in exercise and physical activity. Volunteer and help others. Do something fun occasionally. It doesn't have to cost a lot of money.

"10. It's OK to trick yourself." Sometimes it's hard to face a big project, and that makes it easy to avoid. One way to attack it is to commit yourself to working on something for just 15 or 30 minutes or an hour. If you stop then, you are that much farther down the road. Often, though, it becomes easy to stretch the time as you discover that the work is not as hard as you thought it would be. The trick is breaking it down into small pieces.

Hopefully, you can apply some of these life lessons as you run or work your way through a divorce or family law issue.

How Can it Take a Long Time to Resolve a Simple Case?

Recently, I was talking with a potential client and we got to the point of discussing attorney fees. She clearly viewed her case as a fairly simple matter, and it could be in some circumstances. I quoted a substantial retainer and she asked why it would be so much for a limited case, which was a perfectly understandable question. I explained that I didn't know how many hearings there would be and she asked how there could be more than one hearing. So I gave her a number of possible scenarios that could lead to delay and multiple court dates. She was surprised, but understood.

Why does a case take so long? Here are some of the common reasons why any family law case may get delayed over a long period of time.

1. It may not really be simple at all. Although a party may think it is uncomplicated, an attorney may look at a situation and instantly see many possible problems that have to be dealt with.

2. One party or the other may have received short notice of a hearing, so the hearing must be reset to comply with the rules or for fairness.

3. A party may need time to hire an attorney.

4. A party may need time to get money to pay for an attorney.

5. An attorney may have a scheduling conflict.

6. An attorney may need time to prepare for an unexpected issue.

7. Discovery of information and records may need to be done before the case can proceed.

8. The case may need to go to mediation.

9. The judge may not be available or may be too busy for a hearing on a given day.

10. Bad weather can cause a postponement.

11. There may be a holiday (federal, state or local).

12. Someone may be on vacation.

13. A witness may be unavailable.

14. Some important details may change.

15. A new witness may have been found and further preparation may be necessary.

16. Someone may be ill.

17. There could be a problem in taking care of a child on a given day.

18. The judge may need or take more time to decide.

19. The judge may order the attorneys to prepare a brief on an issue.

20. A hearing may take longer than planned and the conclusion may have to be reset later.

The above are all legitimate reasons that come up and cause delays in cases. On top of that, the other party may stall intentionally for various reasons, and that's hard to control.

Sometimes, delay helps you and sometimes it doesn't, but you have to be prepared for delays in any litigation. It's just part of the process. Talk to your attorney early if you have concerns about the timing. Good luck in getting your case resolved.

Waiting on the 60-Day Waiting Period

One of the most common misperceptions regarding divorce is the idea that a divorce is, or must be, completed when the 60-day waiting period is up. Under Texas law, the parties must wait for 60 days, beginning with the date they file for divorce, before they can be divorced. Even then, the divorce doesn't happen automatically.

There is actually much more to be done before the divorce can be finalized. That's not to say that the divorce won't be completed just after the 60 days is up. It only means that you can't just file for divorce, wait for the 60 days to pass and then be divorced without further action.

So, what needs to be done? Start by discussing the situation with your attorney. Make sure he/she knows you want the divorce over with as soon as possible. Here are some things that he or she will need your help on.

1. Your spouse must be notified "officially". You can serve papers on him/her or he/she can sign a Waiver and accept the papers. Most people won't sign a Waiver without having the opportunity to see and sign the final papers (decree). Serving papers is less friendly and more expensive. If you are trying to do a quick and friendly divorce, the Waiver is probably a better bet. If you can't find your spouse, talk to your attorney about your options.

2. You need to gather information and get it to your attorney. The attorney wants to make sure everything is properly covered by the final decree of divorce, so it is important that the attorney gets to review the details of your finances. In addition, the children, if there are any, must be provided for: allocation of the powers, rights and duties for raising the children; visitation; and child support. The attorney depends on you to furnish the information and also to state what terms and arrangements you would prefer.

3. If you want a quick divorce, you and your spouse generally need to agree on the details of how to divide things up and how to deal with the children. It's not enough to just turn over information to the attorney. Your attorney can suggest some terms, but you and your spouse need to agree to those or come up with variations that you both agree on. Usually, the more complex the issues, the longer it takes to resolve them. You can help speed up the process by reaching agreements with your spouse.

Divorces are not automatic in Texas. Attorneys can't just file papers and wait for the time to run. We need to get information and suggestions from clients. If you are anxious to get your divorce completed quickly, you need to help your attorney by providing information and details on how you would like things resolved. You can be divorced in just over 60 days, but plan on actively working with your attorney to accomplish that.

How to Find the Best Lawyer in Tarrant County, Texas

Many people apparently are looking for the best lawyer in Tarrant County, Texas. Not just any lawyer, the best lawyer. I know that from some research I have done about what people are asking Google and other search engines. It is certainly understandable that someone who suddenly needs a lawyer to end a marriage would want to find the best one around. It's not only part of our competitive nature, but it's also common sense.

Or, sometimes they want the meanest lawyer. I previously wrote about getting the meanest lawyer -- that's a different discussion! For now, let's discuss how to find the best lawyer, wherever you are. Here are some things to consider.

1. You need to define what makes a lawyer the best one for you. What are the most important qualities that you are looking for? Do you want a business-like personality or someone who is very personable and casual? Do you want a very structured attorney or a looser approach? Some lawyers are somewhat to very abrasive and others are instantly your best friend. You should meet with several lawyers and get to know something about their personalities and approach to practicing law.

2. Another stylistic option is whether you want a decision-maker or an option-developer. Some lawyers get the facts of the case and then start telling clients what to do. Other lawyers help clients develop a variety of options and then assist them in choosing a course of action. Some clients just want to turn over their legal matter to their attorney and let the attorney take care of it. How involved do you want to be?

3. What is the financial range of fees you are comfortable with? Generally, the more experience or more demand there is for a lawyer, the higher the fees will be. More expensive lawyers aren't always the best, but they often are much better than inexpensive lawyers. If your case is very complicated or unusual, you may want to hire an experienced attorney, but make sure you can afford the attorney. Even among very good attorneys, there will be a range of fees that they charge.

4. Do you want or need a trial lawyer or a settlement specialist? Don't assume that you necessarily want to take your case to trial. Likewise, you shouldn't assume that you case will be settled. It is true that most family law cases settle, but some have to be tried. You should consider both approaches and find out how prospective lawyers view your case.

5. Sometimes, location can be a consideration. You generally want to hire a lawyer in your own county, or wherever the suit is located. But, you may or may not have to go to your attorney's office very much after the attorney is hired. Much of the contact between lawyers and clients takes place over the Internet or by phone or fax. However, you probably should hire someone local who is familiar with the local courts, judges and courthouse personnel.

Ultimately, your decision should consider a number of factors. Chemistry is a key element. Does your personality fit with the attorney's personality? If you don't get along with or like the attorney, don't hire him or her. Look up the attorney on line and combine that information with your observations. Don't go just on reputation. Go with your gut feeling on whether this will be the best lawyer in Tarrant County for you.

Time to Plan Your Summer Visitation Schedule

This is a brief Public Service Announcement.

Attention all Texans with a Texas standard visitation schedule! If you read your summer schedule section, you will probably see that you have to notify the other parent of your desired summer possession schedule by April 1 or April 15, depending on whether you have the right to choose the primary residence of the child. If you don't have primary custody/possession of the child, you probably are required to notify the other parent by April 1. If you don't do so, you will probably have have the child for the month of July.

Please read the language of your court order very carefully. Sometimes the language is customized and the dates and other details may be different from the standard provisions.

If you have a standard Texas visitation schedule, and if you have primary custody of your child, you probably have until April 15 to designate your summer possession times.

Please read the language of your court order very carefully. Sometimes the language is customized and the dates and other details may be different from the standard provisions.

There are two lessons to be remembered here: (1) Dates and deadlines in court orders are important and may limit your choices, so you should plan ahead. You can act before the deadlines. (2) It is important to read the exact language of your court order and follow the directions. Don't guess or make assumptions about what your order says. Read it and then act.

The Good News:

Of course, you and the other parent can agree on whatever time-sharing arrangement for the summer that you want. Be creative and you can figure out how both parents can enjoy the summer with your child. How ever you do it, have a great summer vacation with your child!