Be Careful What You Say, Text and Write!

At the risk of bringing up a subject that many people are already tired of, the recent highly-publicized woes of a famous golfer clearly illustrate some of the issues I have written about before. As most people who have been paying attention are aware, Tiger Woods' predicament revolves around extra-marital relationships that appear to have been substantiated by his own texting and voice mails.

We will probably see and hear more in the coming weeks and months, but there has already been quite a bit of publicity about some text messages and voice mail. It's hard for Tiger to deny what's spoken, not just in his own words, but by his own mouth. When voice mails are saved, they can become evidence in court or in court cases. And the texting seems to add further proof.

Tiger's image and reputation are taking quite a hit and it looks like the controversy will end up costing him some of his endorsement income. There's a lot of money that is at stake.

I have previously written (here and here) about how emails, texts and voice mail can be and are used in court. It's powerful evidence.

The lesson is clear. Always remember that anything you write or say or do may be recorded and then presented in court. Make sure that you say and do appropriate things that you would not mind showing up in court or in the public media. Think before you speak or write.

Even if you are not Tiger Woods, there will always be people who will use your words and images against you, if you give them the opportunity. It's your decision. Think before you speak, write or act.

Don't Let Your Words Come Back to Haunt You

This post could be called "Think Before You Hang Yourself" or "Pause Before You Put Your Foot in Your Mouth." Peggy Roston, who writes the Alaska Divorce Blog, recently had an excellent post on a topic that seems to need repeating frequently -- the damage your statements, written or oral, can make. She talks about custody cases, but it is also true in just property cases or where there are non-custody kid issues. Judges have a lot discretion in making decisions. When you leave written or recorded evidence that puts you in a bad light, that can hurt you when the judge has to choose between your request and your spouse's request.

You may also have a spouse or ex-spouse who somehow always manages to appear or sound nicer than he or she is in real life. Unfortunately, the judge bases a decision on the evidence brought in before him or her. You want to be sure to avoid creating unflattering evidence about yourself. Here's what Peggy wrote:

"If you are involved in a custody case, you should assume that each text message and email you send to your spouse and each voice message you leave for your spouse will find its way into the file of your spouse’s attorney. If your case goes to trial, you can expect to see text messages, emails, and transcripts of voice messages marked as trial exhibits and used against you at trial. Likewise, your attorney will certainly use damaging text messages, emails and transcripts against your spouse at trial.

"So do yourself and your attorney a favor. Before you hit the send button, you should pause for a second and read over what you have just written to your spouse. Does your email/text message make accusations against your spouse? If so, you had better delete those accusations. Does your email/text message disparage, blame or belittle your spouse? If so, take the negative comments out of the email.

"Sending derisive emails or text messages might make you feel better for the moment. But they can seriously damage your custody case if they become evidence that you are not capable of promoting a good relationship between your children and the other parent."

Keep in mind that the judge will probably not have the whole context available when viewing or hearing derogatory messages. The other attorney will certainly try to use your words against you. Think, before you write or talk. You'll benefit in the long run.

The Increasing Role of Social Media in Family Law Cases

One of my favorite blogs is the Georgia Family Law Blog by Stephen Worrall. He has just posted a very timely article that is based on a post in the DaniWeb blog. It is about the increasing role of social media in family law cases. In case you aren't exactly sure what "social media" is, it is a term that includes an ever increasing group of web sites and programs that can be joined. It is a way of communicating freely and easily with member of a group who has signed up. Some sites limit access in various ways and others don't. Social media includes such things as My Space, FaceBook, LinkedIn, Plaxo, Twitter, Classmates and others. They can be easily found and accessed on the Internet. Here is Stephen's post:

"It's been known for a while that current and potential future employers look at people's profiles on social networking sites such as FaceBook. And it's also been known that people are using social networking sites to announce the status of their relationship -- or lack of one. Now the two uses are getting together, with divorce attorneys mining social networking sites for evidence supporting their clients.

"'Lawyers, however, love these sites, which can be evidentiary gold mines,' said a recent article in Time. 'Did your husband's new girlfriend Twitter about getting a piece of jewelry? The court might regard that as marital assets being disbursed to a third party. Did your wife tell the court she's incapable of getting a job? Then your lawyer should ask why she's pursuing job interviews through LinkedIn.' One attorney quoted in the article said such research is 'routine.'

"In addition, exes are posting information about their formers -- such as an estranged wife emailing 'friends' of the spouse the additional information that he was married with children, which he had neglected to include in his FaceBook profile. Such messages on a social-networking site can even be part of a harassment campaign that led to the court's issuing a civil order of protection, one attorney said."

There are many different uses for the social media in a family law case. Fort Worth/Tarrant County divorce lawyers may be looking into someone's relationships in various ways through social media. In addition, witnesses can be researched the same way to find out who they associate with and to capture statements and pictures they have published. This is a tool that is really not very difficult or technical to use, which can lead to some very damaging or beneficial information. Everyone should be very careful about what they permit to be written or pictured, especially if there is any litigation threatened or in progress.

Note: As always, think and be cautious about anything you put in writing, including in emails or text messages. All communications are potential evidence in court.