Don't Rely on What You Hear

When people start thinking about divorce, they often talk with family and friends to get information about it.  Naturally, they look to people who have had divorce experience or know someone who has. That is often a mistake.

Briefly, this is why it is a mistake to rely on what people tell you.

1.  Every case is different. This cannot be overemphasized.  Normally we only get part of the story from someone else. Some facts are forgotten. The legal issues may have been different. The history between the parties may be different from yours. The attorneys may have chosen to focus on or ignore certain legal issues. The way people get along with each other and other people is probably different. The goals and needs of the parties will be different. This list could go on and on.

2.  People sometimes get the facts mixed up. Probably unintentionally, but still a problem.  The more times a story is told, the  more it changes.

3.  Often people are basing their opinions on the law from other states. Believe it or not, laws are different in each of the states. Many times people suggest a course of action that is totally inappropriate in Texas. That happens with research online.

So, what can a person do?  Simple. Talk to an experienced attorney.  If it's a divorce case, talk to a divorce lawyer. If it's a criminal case, see a criminal lawyer. If it's a probate matter, go see a probate lawyer.

The common element is: go talk to a lawyer for important legal issues. Don't gather your information informally and start off on your own.  Talk to an experienced lawyer for your issues and take the advice. You will come out ahead.

Looking for Encouragement?

If you are on the receiving end of divorce news, things may look pretty overwhelming.  The legal system is obviously expensive.  Legal consequences of actions in a divorce may last a lifetime.  And, divorce is always difficult for you and your spouse.

If you haven't been thinking and planning for a divorce, suddenly confronting the situation can be frightening and confusing.  You may be wondering what your first step should be, what to expect from the court and what will it all cost.  Those are all reasonable questions. 

You have a choice about where you get information to answer your questions.  You can talk to friends, you can look on the internet or you can go see a family lawyer.  Not surprisingly, my suggestion is to see a family lawyer. 

Your friends may have good intentions, but they don't usually know the law and what happened in their case may not apply in yours.  The internet sometimes has good information, but often people start reading articles about divorce in California, New York, Florida or some other state.  Laws vary from state to state, so what is good advice in California might not make any sense here in Texas.

So, where is the encouragement?

1.  You have choices in attorneys.  There are many attorneys in Fort Worth and Tarrant County, Texas, who are very good at handling divorces.  You can choose one in your price range and you can get one with experience appropriate to your case.  Some cases don't need highly experienced and expensive attorneys. Others may need an attorney with special experience or training.  In addition to focusing on experience and cost, you should meet with the attorney and decide whether the personal chemistry between the two of you works well.  If it doesn't, check other attorneys until you feel really comfortable.

2.  You can affect how much fighting there is.  Each divorce is different.  Some people go looking for a lawyer who will be a shark, rake the spouse over the coals or otherwise inflict pain on the other side.  I don't believe that is productive in the long run, but there are lawyers around who will happily accommodate that request.  But watch the fine print:  all of that battling is very expensive.  Don't assume your spouse will have to pay for everything. 

You can choose to spend your money on lawyers or you can keep it peaceful and have more money to divide up.  It's your choice.

3.  You have a choice of processes.  You can possibly work out an informal agreement with your spouse, you can go into traditional litigation or you can choose Collaborative divorce.

Informal negotiations are good if there's little to discuss. 

Litigation is the most common process, but relies on standard guidelines for children's issues and it usually involves costly Discovery if there are significant assets.  While most cases usually settle before trial, litigation is divisive, slow and expensive.

Collaborative divorce is my preference, but it won't work for everyone.  Some people just insist on fighting and going to court.  Collaborative is great where there are serious issues, including custody, sharing parenting time and responsibilities and dividing complex assets.  For a lot of information about Collaborative Law, check out my other blog, the Texas Collaborative Law Blog.

What should you do?  Go talk with attorneys and explain your financial situation and any concerns about kids or preferences or needs on property division.  Be sure to talk with an attorney who is an experienced and trained Collaborative Law attorney so you can get accurate information on that option.  Good luck!

Tuesday Tips: Don't Threaten Divorce

Just Do It! (As a famous apparel seller used to urge us.)

     Once you start threatening divorce, you start to weaken the bonds of marriage.

     Some people, who want to remain married, threaten to divorce their spouse to get the spouse to change some behavior -- stay home more, quit drinking, pay attention, etc.

     What the other spouse focuses on, though, is that the first spouse wants a divorce.  This feeling becomes stronger as the threat is repeated over time.

     If you want a divorce, go ahead and file, or discuss it if you want.

     If you really want something else, skip the attempted pressure tactics and have a discussion about what can be done to improve a problem area.  Threatening divorce will not solve the problem and will probably result in divorce.

How to Prepare for a Peaceful Divorce

Often, people become hurt and angry when it becomes clear they are facing a divorce.  In most cases, the divorce should not be a surprise, but sometimes it is.  While some people can overcome their anger at the situation and their spouse, others can't.  Attorneys will tell the parties that if one person wants the divorce, it will happen eventually.  Many times angry people seem determined to make life difficult for themselves and their spouse as they go through a divorce.

On the other hand, there is a large number of people who have had time to process the emotional issues of their divorce and are more interested in having a peaceful divorce.

For the people wanting to have a peaceful and civilized divorce, here are some suggestions to follow:

1.  Try Collaborative Law. Ideally, if there are issues to be resolved, the parties should use Collaborative Law.  I have written many other posts in this blog and my Texas Collaborative Law blog about how Collaborative Law works and the advantages of it. If there's any way to get your spouse to agree to use Collaborative Law, you will both benefit.

2.  Think about, identify and define your goals.  Figure out what you would like to end up with after the divorce is finished. What would you want your life to look like? There's no automatic plan in the Texas Family Code for dividing property.  Even issues around the children have room for some variations. You will be much happier at the end if you are constantly thinking about your goals, needs and interests while you work on finding or creating solutions.

3.  Be realistic.  Don't ask for more than is even possible.  Consider that your spouse has needs also, even if you are angry at him or her.  If you are realistic and reasonable, you will have a greater chance of reaching agreement and avoiding an expensive battle in court.

4.  Get professional help.  It's no admission of weakness to talk with a counselor and get help with the stresses and emotions of a divorce.  It can make your life easier if you will get counseling and follow through with their advice.

5.  Pause and think before you speak.  You will have many occasions to speak to and about your spouse.  What you say can result in anger, hurt feelings and retaliation.  Holding your tongue and not responding to provocation can pay off in the end.  You don't need to escalate things.

6.  Avoid pushing your spouse's buttons.  You know what you can say and do that will trigger anger in your spouse.  You don't need to strike back like that.  Everything can escalate quickly and that's not good for either of you.

7.  Look for common ground.  It may seem hard, but you can find things you can agree on.  If you start with a few small agreements, it makes it easier to agree on bigger issues.  That's true for both sides.

8.  Gather and share information.  You can try to withhold information, but it will normally come out eventually.  Courts are geared up to enforce the production of information.  They aren't foolproof, but they can sure eat up a lot of cash as the attorneys fight over documents.  Save yourself time and money by being cooperative. It will also help generate goodwill.

9.  Think outside the box.  Don't limit yourself to mechanical, by-the-guidelines solutions.  Be open to completely new ways to work things out.  Get whatever help you need and be creative. A solution doesn't mean someone has to lose.

10. Leave your ego out of the picture.  You don't have to "win".  You can decide what would satisfy you and your needs.  There are always different ways of looking at things.  If your spouse feels like he/she "won" and you are satisfied with the result, that's great!

If you follow these tips, especially the one about choosing Collaborative Law, you will have a peaceful divorce. By the way, a peaceful divorce will be a lot cheaper than a hotly-contested one!

Why an Aggressive, Mean Lawyer will Cost More Money

The other day, I was visiting with a highly educated man who started to tell me about his experience with divorce.  That's not an unusual situation.  Everyone has stories from their own experiences or their family or friends' experiences.

Anyway, as it turned out, he was happy with the second attorney he used.  It seems the second attorney was a "barracuda" and the man is now convinced that's the way to go.  The first attorney wasn't aggressive enough.  I know and respect both attorneys, but I would rarely ever agree that the barracuda approach is the best.  Let me explain.

1.  Reasons for wanting a mean lawyer.  The most common reasons I have heard are the following:

• For revenge or out of anger:  In a divorce, emotions can be raw and revenge is quick to appeal to someone with hurt feelings.
• To get a more favorable result:  Some people think the only way to get a great result is to "beat up" or overwhelm the other party.  Those people assume that the aggressive lawyer will have the client's goals in mind and will attain them.
• To counteract the lawyer on the other side:  Many people believe that it takes fire power to fight fire. That may be true if the other attorney is a mean, aggressive attorney, but there's no need for that approach if the other attorney is just a regular, reasonable attorney.

2.  How does it work?  The mean, aggressive lawyer will be constantly attacking.  The attorney will file motions and set numerous hearings.  Conducting a war in discovery is a common tactic.  The aggressive lawyer demands a lot of information and is very stingy in giving out information.  The attorney tries to focus on what the other side has failed to produce or failed to do.  The idea seems to be to batter the opposing party and wear them out so that they will settle on terms favorable to the aggressive side.

3.  What are the results?

• Many times, a party will get some revenge and work out some of the anger.
• Almost always, there will be a smaller pot to divide.  The constant battling is very expensive, which means the attorneys get a good share of the community property and the parties divide a significantly smaller amount.
• The process will take extra time.  Fighting takes time.  To do a good job, the aggressive attorney will generally set the case for trial, about a year away, and spend the interim time whaling away at the other side.  Plenty of attorneys' fees get earned in that year.
• The fighting is pretty stressful on you.  At first, it might seem wonderful, but after a while, it just feels tiring and stressful.  Keep in mind that the other side will always fight back.
• Financial pressures rise.  So much time and effort are devoted to the fight, that the attorneys' fees keep rising.  In almost every divorce, there are financial problems because suddenly there are two households trying to live on a budget that often barely covered one household.  Then, add two attorneys and various experts, and you will really begin to feel financial pressures.

 4.  Consequences

• Cost -- at a time when cash is in short supply, it gets burned quickly in attorneys' fees and the estate to be divided between the parties is greatly reduced in size.
• Destruction of relationships -- if there are children, there will be future occasions when both parents need to be near each other and be civil or even friendly.  That can be hard to do if really nasty things are said and done during a divorce.
• Lost opportunities -- oftentimes, people will cooperate and sacrifice voluntarily in a divorce if they are treated respectfully.  Working with the other party, compromising and listening to the spouse can all lead to cooperative efforts to settle a case and try to salvage relationships and assets.

5.  Are there alternatives to going into battle mode and using a really mean, aggressive lawyer?  Of course! Almost every case ultimately settles.  There can be direct 1-on-1 negotiations between some parties. In most litigated cases, a court will order mediation at some point.  That's usually successful, but it often occurs late in a case, just before trial.  Finally, there's Collaborative Law, a relatively new process where the parties agree to not go to court.  Instead, they have a series of direct discussions with the help of a lawyer for each party and a neutral therapist and neutral financial advisor who work with both parties.  Collaborative is my preference, but if we can't do that, mediation is certainly a good option.

If you are facing a divorce and someone tells you that you need to hire the meanest lawyer in town, think about whether you want to spend that money and whether you want to further damage or destroy relationships.  You owe it to yourself and your family to at least talk with a trained Collaborative lawyer to find out if Collaborative might work in your case.

Just so you know, in my opinion, Collaborative Law could work in almost any case, as long as there are two trained Collaborative lawyers representing the parties. For more information, see my Texas Collaborative Law blog.



 

What to do if Your Spouse Files for Divorce

Sometimes you are happy, and sometimes you are mad or sad or in shock or in denial.  People react differently when they find out that a divorce is about to start up.  No matter what your initial reaction is, you need to start preparing right away.  Here are some quick tips you can follow to get ready.

1.  Gather basic information.  You will probably need statements for all your bank accounts and credit cards for at least the past 12 months.  If you can get up to 3 years easily, without a great cost, go ahead and get them.  You should also get copies of your income tax returns for the last 3 years.  Be sure you get all the attachments.  Computer records, such as emails, can be helpful, but only look at and copy ones that you have authorized access to.  Don't hack into your spouse's private or business accounts if you have not been given access to them.  Collect whatever documents you can and put them in a safe location, probably not at home.

1. (Tie)  Contact an attorney immediately.  Find someone who is qualified and experienced for the issues of your case.  If you want to use Collaborative Law, make sure the lawyer is trained and experienced in Collaborative Law.  You need to have a way to pay for the attorney.  That usually can be by cash, credit card or money borrowed from family or friends.  Make an appointment right away and hire a lawyer.  Don't try to represent yourself.  A good lawyer will probably charge for a consultation because the initial consultation is usually a substantial amount of time and the lawyer will discuss strategy and analyze the facts of the case -- it's not a social visit.  Be prepared when you meet with your prospective lawyer.  Bring a list of questions and concerns.

3.  If possible, make sure you have control of some cash.  That's to pay your living expenses, attorney's fees and other costs that may come up right away.  Don't clean out the accounts, but take half or whatever you reasonably need to get by. Make sure your spouse still has some resources to pay bills.  If your spouse has already cleaned out most of the assets, then take control of what's left. However you start, make sure you can account for how you have spent money and where the remaining funds are located. Don't give money away or hide it.  Judges often get mad when someone takes all the money or hides it.  You don't want to start off with the Judge mad at you.

4.  Stay on good terms with your spouse, if possible.  It's usually a good idea to try to cooperate and be amicable, but take steps to get out if it's dangerous to stay.  If you can keep a cordial working relationship, it will help your divorce be less stressful and less costly.

5.  Figure out your needs and what's important to you, so you can discuss those things with your attorney.  You will probably need a budget, so it would be helpful to start on that right away.  Do you need to pay certain bills, or will you need to purchase some furniture or other things for starting over? Think both interim, while the divorce is pending, and long-term.  Don't worry about getting all needs listed perfectly.  You will probably change priorities and needs as the divorce progresses, but you need the basics to start out.

Whenever you find out that a divorce is in the works, don't sit still.  Get active and take steps to protect yourself.  Delay can lead to problems and missed opportunities.  Moving quickly can give you some advantages as you get started.  Good luck!

Divorce Over 50: Breaking Free

Divorce after a long-term marriage requires a lot of adjustments.   All the legal changes, living arrangements, family connections, financial uncertainty and a myriad of other issues can be overwhelming.  It all comes down to one word:  change.

Change can be very difficult for many people, especially at a time when they are looking for something to hold onto.  The reaction for some people is to slow down or shut down, to try to make the world move slower.  It's easier to understand things if they change slowly.

Some people will take slowing down to an extreme and will try to do nothing while they process what's going on and what they will need to do.  Sometimes, it's easier to hunker down and stay home in a quiet safe environment.  That can give people time to emotionally catch up with what's happening legally.

But, becoming immobilized can be dangerous over the long run.  If you find yourself in this situation, you cannot adequately take care of your own needs.  You can stay home and avoid people for a while, but soon, you will have to get on with your life. 

What if you get stuck in a rut and can't figure how to get out?  Here are some tips to help you break free of the physical and emotional paralysis that can easily overtake someone dealing with intense personal changes.

1.  Go outside.  Get some fresh air.  Take a walk.  Go to the mall.  Shop without spending money --just look.  Move around in public.  Don't be isolated.

2.  Exercise.  Join and use a gym.  Run, bike, climb or walk.  Getting exercise will have lots of benefits, from mental alertness to losing weight to meeting new people.

3.  Hang out at a coffee shop with a friend.  You can look around and take turns making up the life stories of the other people hanging out there.

4.  Go to a modern art gallery or museum.  Look for some art that you can understand or like.   If you already like modern art, go to a gallery or museum with some other type of art that you may not appreciate.  Have some fun with it.

5.  Go see a live play.  If you regularly go already, pick out a  theater that's a different type than what you usually attend.  Bonus points if you go with a friend and discuss the play afterwards.

6.  Go listen to a different genre of music.  Go hear classical music, if you don't usually listen to it, or go hear blues, country, reggae, bluegrass or something else you aren't familiar with.

7.  Fly somewhere on a whim.  Take a weekend trip on a "last-minute" special.  Go see a friend or a place you have been meaning to see.

8.  Help a friend with a problem.  You'll be amazed at how much that will help you.

9.  Try an activity from your youth.  Go dancing, swimming, boating, bowling or playing miniature golf, if you haven't done so for years.  You'll feel younger and act younger.

10.  Try an unusual restaurant.  Go to one that serves a different type of food than you are used to.  Expand your tastes.  Tell your waiter that it's your first time and you need some help and suggestions.

If you are a Baby Boomer exiting a long-term marriage, you need to expand your horizons.  You have a lot of choices and opportunities ahead of you.  To get a jump start, try some of these ideas.  Have some fun!

P.S.  If you have some suggestions, please send us a Comment (below).

When Should I File? 10 Signs to Watch For

Everyone facing a divorce will wonder to some extent if it's the right time to file. If any of the following conditions exist, you should seriously consider filing for divorce -- after talking with an attorney. It is best to get the professional opinion of an experienced attorney to review your situation and make sure it is in your best interest to take that step and do it now.

If any of these things are happening, you should probably consider filing right away.

1. Violence. If there has been violence directed against you or your children, you probably need to get out. You may be able to get your spouse kicked out, but you should take whatever steps are necessary for the safety of you and your kids.

2. Abandonment. If your spouse has left, that's a pretty clear signal that the marriage is over. You should file to protect yourself financially and to take care of your kids (if you have any).

3. Hiding of Assets. If you discover, or suspect, that your spouse is hiding assets from you, a consultation with an attorney can help you decide what action to take to prevent the loss of assets.

4. Wasting or Disposing of Assets. If your spouse is spending money irresponsibly or getting rid of assets, you need to put a stop to it. Consult with an attorney about getting a restraining order.

5. Your Gut Feeling. Sometimes you just know that the time is right. You may not be able to put your finger on a specific reason or cause, but you know it's time.

6. Counseling Doesn't Work. You've tried counseling and you just didn't get the issues resolved. Often the party not initiating counseling is resistant and won't put in the effort to make changes. It's usually a good idea to try working with a counselor, but (as you undoubtedly know) you can't make your spouse change unless he or she wants to.

7. Hiding the Kids. If this is going on, you need to act right away. Go see an attorney!

8. Alienating the Kids. This is less obvious, but you may start seeing signs if the kids suddenly start avoiding you or saying hateful things to you. You need to get into court, get the kids into counseling and get some controls over your spouse. It is very difficult to stop and undo such behavior.

9. Running Away. If your spouse has run away with the kids, you need to get into court and get an order to get the kids back. Go see an attorney right away. You don't want to wait and allow your spouse to establish legal residence somewhere else.

10. Spouse is About to File. If you find out your spouse is about to file for divorce, you need to meet with an attorney and decide whether to try to beat your spouse to the courthouse or just prepare for a first court hearing. Either way, you need to consult with an attorney.

Hopefully, this list will help you think about the decision of when to file. The most important part of the decision is talking with an attorney to evaluate the situation. Good luck!

Announcing the "Getting Started" Series of Posts

In the month of January 2012, I will have a series of short posts on getting started on a divorce. The topics will include the following:

1. When should I file?

2. Who should I see? How to choose an attorney.

3. What information will I need?

4. What should I expect?

5. How much will it cost? Hint -- there won't be a specific amount.

6. Should I use litigation or Collaborative Law?

7. How do we tell the kids?

January is one of the busiest times of the year for divorce attorneys. Many people stay together through the holidays and then want to file for divorce right away. These posts should provide some basic information to help you prepare for divorce, but they are only a starting point. Be sure to discuss these topics with your attorney as you get started. Watch for the articles to begin in early January 2012.

When is the Best Time to File for Divorce?

If you are thinking about filing for divorce, one of the obvious questions is about timing. There is no simple, universal answer as to when the best time is to file. Sometimes, couples may think about, and even talk about, divorce for years and then finally decide to take the plunge. Other times, a quick decision is necessary. Here are some considerations to help you decide, if you are approaching that step.

1. When You Need to File. There are several situations that may lead to the conclusion that you "need" to file now.

• Safety: If there has been family violence or a serious threat of family violence, you should act. The threat doesn't have to be spelled out. Sometimes, it becomes obvious that a situation is about to turn violent. Or, you may hear something from someone else that contains a credible threat or signs of danger. You should always be careful to protect your own safety and the health and safety of your children. That may require you to file for divorce.

• Protection of Assets: There may be threats or actual steps to hide or dispose of cash, investments or other assets. In some situations, one spouse will remove all or a significant amount of the cash to "protect" it. Sometimes, access to accounts is changed. If any of these actions have occurred, or have been threatened, you should act to get a court to protect your assets. It's hard to get money back, once it's been spent.

• Preventing Runaways: Unfortunately, kids often become pawns in divorces. A parent may think that he/she will be able to get control or move a divorce to a distant county by running away with the kids. If you file before the runaway, most judges (at least here in Tarrant County) will not allow one parent to move away with the kids without the agreement of the other parent. If a parent has already moved away, you can usually get the kids back to Tarrant County if you file right away.

• Access to the Kids: Sometimes, after separation, a parent will just refuse to let the other parent see or talk to the kids without a court order. The parent in control often views the kids as possessions and worries more about how to control the other parent than about the kids maintaining good relationships with both parents.

2. When You Want to File. This refers to the situation where one or both parties have carefully thought about whether to try to save the marriage and have reached the decision that it would be better to end it. Often this follows counseling for one or both parties. That counseling will often help the parties accept the decision to separate and divorce, and the counselor can help the parties plan their futures. Filing at this stage is usually a little easier, but sometimes the other parent hasn't progressed to the point of acceptance, so it can still be difficult.

3. Calendar Considerations. This may come up if there is not an emergency. If there are holidays approaching, many people prefer to wait until after the holidays to separate and file. That is especially true if there are children. You may also want to consider the kids' activities and schedules so that you don't separate just before a big test, a performance or an important game, for example. In addition, you should talk with an attorney to find out if there are any other dates or events that could come into play. For example, the courts are really clogged from mid-July to mid-August with change of custody cases. It is hard to get much court time during that period. Experienced attorneys know when the courts are traditionally busy and can help you plan ahead.

Probably the best approach is to consult with an attorney early when you start thinking about divorce. You will probably have a lot of questions you want to ask, but don't forget to discuss timing.

How to Start a Divorce

Because it's January again and many people are thinking about divorce, it may be helpful to have a brief review of what someone can do to prepare to file for divorce. Some people don't really plan ahead. They just go see a lawyer and turn everything over over to the lawyer to file and come up with a plan of action. Other people may want to do more to have a greater chance of a favorable, or at least acceptable, outcome. Here's what can be done:

1. Start by determining what you what to end up with. What are your goals, needs and interests? The easy way out is to say that you want what is fair or you want a 50-50 split, but that's really superficial and may leave you short-changed. Everybody is different. What's "fair" to someone is not fair to someone else. There may be certain assets that are more important to you than to your spouse. Maybe you need cash now to pay for some immediate expenses, or maybe you need extra retirement assets. If there are four automobiles, you may just need one, not two. Maybe some collections or artwork are more meaningful to you. Whatever the situation, you will feel better and be better off after the divorce if you decide early what your objectives are.

2. Select a method. You actually have choices. You need to decide whether you want to use Collaborative Law, litigation or just try to work out things with your spouse over the kitchen table. Maybe mediation appeals to you. Investigate the options and choose the way that works best for you. In researching the possibilities, make sure that you speak with an attorney with significant training and experience in the different methods. Hint: not all attorneys are trained and experienced in Collaborative Law. For an opinion on that approach, you should make sure the attorney has had experience in handling Collaborative cases.

3. Prepare. Gather records and information about your financial estate and be familiar with any issues regarding your child and your spouse. For a handy checklist, see the prior post from January 2, 2011.

4. Meet with your attorney. Early. It is important to see the attorney before things get heated up. Your attorney will appreciate having time to prepare and you will have more options on how to proceed. You will have time to gather or request records and you can plan different options for where you will live and how bills will be paid.

5. Take the first step. File, set a hearing (if needed) and serve the papers (or hand-deliver them, if that will help). It is generally advantageous to be the one to file first. Once it is inevitable that the divorce will take place, you will be better served by being active and getting things done at your convenience.

These suggestions are not meant to talk you into a divorce. Whether you decide to divorce is an separate and very personal matter. You should carefully consider all the circumstances in your life and in most cases, you should meet with a counselor, alone or as a couple, to get some perspective in evaluating your situation and maybe to get some help in resolving the issues you are facing. Only after careful consideration should you begin the process of divorce. Once you commit to the choice of divorce, you should then follow the above steps.

When is the Best Time to File?

The easy answer is the first day of each month, but that would be wrong. There's no automatic "best date" for any type of case. When trying to decide when to file your case, here are some things to consider:

1. What process are you using? If you use Collaborative Law, the timing is a much less significant issue. In a Collaborative case, the parties set their own schedule. In Texas, they can act without court supervision for up to two years. If the case is filed as a litigation case, then other time factors come into play.

2. Is there a significant ending deadline? If the case needs to be resolved by a certain date, then you can work backwards from that to figure out when you must file, but generally, you need to file as soon as possible. For a divorce case, don't forget the 60-day waiting period from the date of filing until the earliest possible date to have the divorce granted.

3. Has someone moved? For a divorce, to be able to file, one of the parties must have lived in Texas for at least 6 months and the county you file in for at least 90 days. If someone has moved to a different county or state, the residency requirements may also affect when you can or should file.

4. Are there statutes of limitations involved? For some types of law suits or issues, there may be a statute of limitations that would prohibit your filing something after a certain date. You should discuss any such issues with your attorney.

5. Are there post-final hearing deadlines? If you are wanting to file an appeal or a motion for new trial, for example, be sure you work with your attorney and promptly comply with all deadlines. There are various requirements for different steps to take after a final ruling has been made.

6. Are there fact-related deadlines? Is school about to start? Are certain bills due now or at a certain later date? Do you want the divorce final before the end of the year for tax purposes? Is there a deadline to accept or reject a promotion or job transfer? All can be compelling reasons to take action right away.

7. Are you prepared to file? Do you have the information, witnesses and fees you need to file now? Is there time to prepare? Make sure you work with your attorney to determine the best timing for filing any family law litigation.

There are obviously a number of questions that need to be considered in deciding when to file. You should have a thorough discussion of all the factors with your attorney. Make sure your attorney is aware of all your concerns and objectives.